I'm a Liar

I am a Liar.

You are too.

Show me someone who says they don't lie and I'll show you a liar.

Sometimes we lie to get our own way.
         ( Of course, Uncle John will be at Cousin Louise's party. )

Sometimes we lie so we don't get into trouble.
         ( The Gorilla came in the window and colored on the walls)

Sometimes the lie is a sin of omission.
            ( Oh, did I forget to tell you that the car is out of gas.)

We all know that we shouldn't lie. It is a Commandment after all, and if we are found out, the consequences are usually a lot worse than the trouble we were trying to avoid.

Still- it happens.

Little white lies are the norm I suppose. (No, that dress makes you look great!)

Bigger lies- bigger trouble.
        ( No Officer, I only had one beer.)

But to me the biggest and worst liar is a woman who lies about two things.

1. Being raped when it isn't true.
2. Being pregnant when it isn't true.

Because when either of those two things happen it is bad news for ALL women, not just the liar.

I'm not telling you women anything you don't already know. We have to protect ourselves from men at all times. We grew up knowing this. It is a fact of life- unfortunate but true. Society is evolving this slowly- my girl children did not have to put up with the bull shit I had to put up with working in a man's world. I'm heartily glad of that. But they still grew up with the mantra "Protect yourself at all times." 

Just like the story of the Wolf, a person ( no gender bashing here) needs to build a reputation. To build a reputation, a person needs to have character. That means you have to do what you say you are going to do, have compassion for others and don't lie about important stuff. When you do- say lie about a Ravening Wolf coming to town when there is no wolf- your character then comes into question and no amount of trust rebuilding will ever bring it back.

It isn't a matter of believing- we all want to believe!  We want to be compassionate. But a lie is a lie is a lie.

And now we have been set back 100 years by the most recent and very public lie. Now none of "Us Women" will be believed. 

King Solomon had a good idea to solve his problem of who to believe, but that wisdom wouldn't work in a case of rape or pregnancy. Pregnancy will out and time will tell, but not with rape.

What can any of us 'other gals' do about this?

Will screaming vitriol at people change this? Will putting stupid hats on our heads change it? Will declaring #METOO change this?

The only thing that will change this is US. Being real. Having character.

No lies and calling out the ones among us that do lie.

Teaching all of our children not to lie and, barring that, how to tell a liar from not a liar. Teaching them compassion but reality too. As a daughter of two policemen, I was taught early how to determine a liar. My children can spot one a mile away.

I can too.